he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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