Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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