The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
