planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
