Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
