***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
