great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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