highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
