My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
