Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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