What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
