Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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