i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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