Don't you send me to vm
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So many bounce houses so little time
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
