I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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