I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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