Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
