She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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