Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
