Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The uberlube is also flammable
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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