When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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