no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
