if i can run in heels then i can drive
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
