I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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