dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
