I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
