do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
