you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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