what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
