I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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