and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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