This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
how drunk are you?
Several
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
