He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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