I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
