Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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