And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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