i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
