we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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