I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
