Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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