Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
