I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
