oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
