Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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