Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
