shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
