Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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