it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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