He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
