wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
