I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
