Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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